Checklist of Financial Documents for Divorce

One thing that remains true for (almost) all of my Massachusetts divorce clients is that they prefer when I give them the option to retrieve documents as I prepare their case file. When you, as the client, obtain documents to assist your divorce attorney in preparing your file it saves time and money. By avoiding the need of having your divorce attorney send out deposition subpoena's and other discovery requests for items that you, as the client and subject individual could more easily obtain, you will save yourself some billable hours in the long run. Of course there will be times when the documents you provide to your divorce attorney are not sufficient should your case proceed to trial, but evidentiary issues aside, most of my clients ask "what can I get for you?" at one time or another.

After the break I have included a lengthy checklist of documents that I frequently ask for as financial disclosures. If you're preparing, or going through, a divorce in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts these are typically the documents that your divorce attorney is going to be most interested in. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and for the most part I use this list internally only, which means that much of it won't apply. However, in an effort to get as much information "out there" as possible, after the jump you will find my checklist for financial disclosures.

Please Don't Put That on Facebook

From the bench one afternoon I heard a Worcester Probate Court Judge ask a pro se defendant "what do you think is on my Facebook?" The litigant hemmed and hawed until the Judge answered the question "Nothing, because I don't have a Facebook page."

This remark wasn't made merely to lighten the mood during an otherwise contentious custody battle between two pro se litigants. The Court had just finished hearing about how the defendant posted pictures on Facebook of drinking, drug use and partying. There were Facebook status updates that said "I apologize to my liver in advance" and "I shouldn't be driving #drunk." When these were posted by the defendant there was never a thought that these things would come up in a Court proceeding, which is precisely the problem.

People do not think when they post things on Facebook. 

I can tell you that the first thing I do when I've been retained is check the Facebook page of the opposing party. It's a quick, easy and simple way to learn about the other side. If I see pictures of drugs, drinking or other "high risk" behaviors, I make mental notes or better yet I print the offending pages.

You wouldn't believe the things that I've caught people in through their Facebook pages. Here's an example.

John Doe (client) is the father/custodial parent, Jane Doe (opposing party) gave up custody voluntarily two years prior and moved to State X with her boyfriend. Over the course of two years, Jane has no physical contact with the child, and only minimal text message/telephone contact with a then 3 - 5 year old (how effective is text messaging a 4 year old? You tell me). Jane comes to Massachusetts where John and the child reside for a wedding. Jane does not tell John she is in town and does not try to arrange for visitation. During her stay in Massachusetts, Jane is tipped off to a Court Notice in the newspaper that John was charged with A&B on her girlfriend. Jane runs to Court and files Emergency Motion to change custody due to the pending A&B charge.

Now, John comes to me. I jump on Jane's Facebook account and notice that prior to filing the lawsuit Jane has told her friend in State X that she is currently in Massachusetts for a wedding but will be back in State X in a few weeks. At the hearing on her emergency motion Jane tells the Court that she resides in Massachusetts and is capable of caring for the child. Busted. I pull out the Facebook page, and the story about being a Massachusetts resident falls apart. The Court denies the Motion and we proceed with a regular Complaint for Modification (wherein John retains full custody and Jane disappears).

Now, what's the point of that story? Had Jane not posted on her Facebook that she was returning to State X shortly, I would not have had that information prepared so that I could raise the issue to the Court that our concern was of Jane getting temporary custody of the child and disappearing back to State X. Unwittingly Jane provided me with our case. 

I've got a number of stories like these. I've seen an opposing party who was prohibited from bringing a child around her ex-boyfriend (and drug dealer) post pictures on her Facebook over the weekend of the drug dealing boyfriend swimming in a hotel pool with the child. 

Here's the lesson -- if you're going to have a Facebook profile, make it private. If I can sign on Facebook right now and pull up your entire wall, and photo collection there is a problem (for you). But also, if you're thinking about posting those pictures of you smoking weed with your college roommate during Alumni Weekend maybe you shouldn't do that, maybe it's not a good idea to let the world know on your Facebook page that you drove home "so wasted" last night, or that you're "really hungover" today when you're having visitation with your kids.

Facebook is a nice tool, and I appreciate the significance of social media but please, please, please, do NOT post that on Facebook.

Massachusetts Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is a relatively new concept in the area of Family Law, and as any relatively new concept it is often misunderstood in general practice. One of the main causes of confusion as it relates to the concept of parental alienation is that the definition is scarcely defined in the literature. Parental alienation is, for all intents and purposes, any constellation of behaviors, whether conscious or unconscious, that could evoke a disturbance in the relationship between a child and the targeted parent." See Darnall, Douglas "Parental Alienation: Not in the Best Interest of the Children," 75 N. Dak. L. Rev. 323 (1999).

The risk with parental alienation is that if not addressed, it may rise to the level of parental alienation syndrome, as defined by Dr. Richard Gardner's work "The Parental Alienation Syndrome and the Differentiation Between Fabricated and Genuine Child Sex Abuse." Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) focuses on a child's behavior, and is often visible when a child refuses visits, expresses unjustifiable hatred towards the targeted parent, displays no fear of the court, harbors irrational beliefs shared by the alienating parent, and cannot see any good in the targeted parent.

The Courts, especially in Massachusetts, have yet to deal specifically with the issue of parental alienation or parental alienation syndrome. However, some Courts have dealt with the issue and the action that the Court's take as it relates to parental alienation and PAS is severe. The Supreme Court of New Hampshire has dealt with the issue of parental alienation in, In The Matter of James J. Miller and Janet S. Todd, cited a Vermont case "Across the country, the great weight of authority holds that conduct by one parent that tends to alienate the child's affections from the other is so inimical to the child's welfare as to be grounds for a denial of custody to, or a change of custody from, the parent guilty of such conduct."

The Supreme Court of New Hampshire also cited a decision in a prior New Hampshire case that set forth that "the obstruction by a custodial parent of visitation between a child and the noncustodial parent may, if continuous, constitute behavior so inconsistent with the best interests of the child as to raise a strong possibility that the child will be harmed."

You may believe that there is a potential parental alienation situation occurring in your own divorce/child custody arrangement. The Court's outside of the Commonwealth have provided numerous examples of signs of potential parental alienation, and PAS including "child's grooming and appearance during transfer for parenting time...calculated to provoke contact," repeatedly being denied visitation, not being allowed contact, limiting telephone contact, children are falling behind in schooling and many other examples.

The lack of guidelines provided by the Courts of the Commonwealth relative to parental alienation and/or parental alienation syndrome may be discouraging, but if you feel that you are the victim of parental alienation it is important to take immediate action. The issues of parental alienation can be addressed and rectified, however if not addressed the problem may rise to the level of parental alienation syndrome and then the damage done to your relationship with your children may be beyond repair. If you feel that you may be suffering in a parental alienation situation you should contact a family law attorney immediately.

Note: This article originally appeared at the following: http://www.armyandarmylaw.com/Family-Law/Parental-Alienation.shtml